Secrets Can Cripple Your Empowerment

Moximized Mondays – This Weeks Empowerment Topic:

 How Do I Handle The Skeleton’s In My Family Closet? ~ Tanya



Recently my mother passed suddenly. With her some secrets that I know are in this family went to the grave without resolution. There still remains a great degree of anger in my family. When I try to talk to my family members about what the issues were so we can deal with them now, find closure and move forward, I am met with resistance and murmurs of “leave it be; let well enough alone.” What should I do? I want to heal. Do I let the secret stay unfound or do I delve a bit deeper into the family closets and see what skeletons hang there? ~ Tanya




Tanya, thank you for writing.  Secrets are dangerous creatures with a life of their own. Secrets rob us of our authenticity, protect us from judgment, chip away at your empowerment thus diminishing our physical and emotional well-being. I understand how difficult this dilemma is for you as I have recently traveled along a similar road.


Keeping a secret is a great deal of effort. There is a large amount of energy used to inhibit your behavior so as not to let the proverbial “cat out of the bag”.. When you do not feel you can reveal yourself authentically, you end up concentrating on obsessive thoughts that surround that secret which is very unhealthy vibrational energy. Once again the brain and body are working in over drive to keep the secret safe from revelation. But once a secret is revealed, process of exposing the secret reduces negative energy, the body and mind doesn’t have to work so hard and life is suddenly easier. Your body functions do not have to run on overdrive and you will find yourself becoming healthier in all aspects of your life. Your empowerment is enriched once again.


Tanya, anger is a completely different topic. Don’t get me wrong, this anger can arise from the secret, but there are more levels to that emotion. No one can make you angry. You chose to be angry. This results from possible lack of self worth, lack of self-love or lack of self-confidence. Anger is also the masquerade for a fear. Tanya is there a fear lurking in the shadows that might be being protected by toxic anger? How to you choose to have the courage to change what you can so as to release that fear and send the anger packing? Anger bottled up is as dangerous to your empowerment as a secret. They both need to be divulged so the lessons can be learned, gratitude can be dispersed and forgiveness can start the healing. Harboring either will only burn you and the scars will be with you a lifetime.


Try to gather your family together and place the secrets out on the table. Unburden yourself. But if you feel it is not time yet, then find another way to release your shackles from any family secrets. Find a coach, a counselor or any other possible help to give you the tools to deal with the weight you are carrying. There is so much on your plate right now. Take your time, breathe and know that you will heal and in this process you will know when the time is right to bare all.


I came across an interesting site designed by Frank Warren, the founder of Frank created an experiment where he handed out post cards to strangers and asked them to mail him their secrets, anonymous if they wished or not. He then posted some of the half-million secrets that strangers have mailed him on postcards. Tanya, take some time to read some of the secrets on this site will laugh, cry, snicker, frown but most of all you might relate to the unburdening these tortured souls. You can almost feel the strengthening of each person’s empowerment right through the site.


“When you have become willing to hide nothing, you will not only be willing to enter into communion but will also understand peace and joy.” ~ Unknown


Please continue journaling, and if you don’t start. (If you need help, here is a perfect workbook for you How To Journal.)  Putting your words on paper helps to sort things out with the universe. Julie Cameron suggests Morning Pages in her fabulous book, the Artist’s Way (you can find it under Moxie Reading.) These are three handwritten pages of free thought. It takes only 1/2 hour a day but it is amazing the insights to your empowerment that alight from your soul onto those precious pieces of paper. Ms. Cameron designed this to help “unblock” artists but it also works on souls that need to vent so as to open up room for the universe’s divine message to spread throughput you.

I have included a wonderful video in which Frank Warren shares his experiment on secrets, and outlines the place secrets have in our lives:

One final note, Tanya,  keeping a “good” secret can can boost your empowerment with trust. So make sure when you wish to take on the weight of a secret it is a healthy gain to your self-esteem not a burden to your empowerment.


You might also like to read this post on empowerment.


Other tools for enriching your empowerment:


Moxie Reading Collection


Journal, Workbooks and Daily Inspirationals


Moxie Fiction To Inspire Your Creative Soul


Moxie Inspirational Video Collection

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