Moximized Mondays Self Confidence Topic This Week:
Losing my self confidence in living life the way I would like to. ~ Deidra
I am losing my self confidence in living my life the way I should. My job is very demanding. I have deadlines everywhere I turn. I consider myself pretty adept at doing my job, in fact I feel I excel in more ways than not. Since day one I knew my position was demanding but I felt I could handle it. Lately though I have been getting severe headaches. My doctor and I decided it was from the stress I have been under. Criticism is the big monster in my life. I get criticized everyday in my job. I don’t even want to go to work anymore because I know that my progress, ideas, and achievements will find criticism by one or all members of my development team. It has gotten so bad that I snap at anyone who criticizes me in my personal life. I am jumpy and looking over my shoulder all the time. I don’t even have the self confidence to try a new recipe for dinner for fear of having it criticized. Help me! I can’t go on like this. I must be able to do something right. Right? ~ Deidra
First of all Deidra, define what kind of criticism you are being dealt “Useless” or “Useful?”
“Useful” pointed criticism otherwise called “constructive” can give us a sense of relief because you know that some tangent of your work is lacking and you just need an accurate point of view from someone else to get the “Ah-ha” moment you were looking for. Useful criticism doesn’t erode your self confidence but sustains it and fortifies your self esteem.
Something tells me you are dealing with the “Useless” criticism and the burden of it is tainting your view to receive constructive critiques in your personal life.
Do you feel bludgeoned, shamed, condescended upon or personally attacked by inaccuracies of your character? Then you are at the receiving end of irresponsible criticism and your self confidence will get absolutely nothing from it – no lessons, no improvement in your work, no insight to where you might improve – in fact you will find that you will to live is diminished and your work over all will disintegrate and then the criticism will increase like a snowball. This kind of criticism will chip away at your self confidence.
I will give you a few travel rules for dealing with the head on collision of any form of criticism.
8 Rules To Handling Criticism With Self Confidence
1.Receive criticism as it comes. Let it wash over you and visualize it flowing down into a drain in the floor. Watch in your mind flow all the way to the sea.
2.Write down in your journal the words and phrases that really bother you – bite you in the butt!
3.Write down the points that deserve merit for your consideration – you have been looking for the answer to a problem and this person has hit the nail on its head with their observation.
4.Now do something very nurturing to your craft – think back to compliments you have gotten about your work before, look at awards you have won, take a quiet moment a look over a scrapbook of your accomplishments, or reread your Success Log to remind you of how special your work really is.
5.All work is a masterpiece and perfect in its own right. If something you have achieved is not to your boss’s liking then learn from his/her critique and make something new. Every piece of work is never a mistake just a steeping stone to the next stage of your success.
6.Look over the criticism and see if it is a trigger for any past childhood faux pas’s – there could be a long-standing wound to your energy that was never dealt with in its inception and rears its ugly head when you face criticism of any type.
7.Defend your inner being. Write a letter to your critic and state your position. Stand behind your work. Don’t mail this, just vent and feel better for doing so. Your inner being (and its self confidence) deserves your love and support – always.
8.Now jump back in there and create something new that you are once again proud of. Stand tall in your power and keep creating. Creativity cures criticism.
Remember Deidra; unhealthy criticism on a constant basis is a form of bullying. Bullies give up on their victim once they realize that their victim is NOT a victim but a survivor. So keep working hard and never give up on yourself or your dreams. Unless quitting your job is an option – then practice the above points and see how the tides turn.
You might also like to read this post on self confidence.
Other tools for enriching your self confidence: